Monday, December 16, 2013

25 weeks.

Author's Note: This post takes a sharp turn towards the end. It must've been the hormonal woman blogging that got caught up in baby talk. Also, there are no pictures of my cat. [Shakes her head, such a travesty.]

25 weeks. Almost done with this second trimester, which has been an absolute dream compared to the first. I go to the doctor on Thursday and can't wait to hear how much weight I've gained. I can definitely tell that this little person is getting bigger (hello shortness of breath). The amount of food I'm needing has noticeably increased. Unfortunately, I've been getting heartburn in the evenings which makes me not want any dinner, but I try to force something down. In other food news, Chipotle is out. After eating Chipotle almost every Tuesday with a group of ladies at work, I had to eat my packed lunch this past week. Three times in a row I felt just miserable after eating my usual there, so I had to throw in the towel. I've never been so disappointed...I stinkin love that place.

We've been feeling the baby move a TON, sometimes waking me from a deep sleep at 5 am. I'm not so much a big fan, but I know that I won't go back to sleep and talk myself into getting out of bed with the promise of a nap later in the day. One day last week, my pregnancy app told me that the baby's heartbeat should be audible to the naked ear, so Kyler's been listening for it most nights. Although it depends how the baby is positioned, he's been able to hear it quite a bit. I on the other hand cannot get my head even close to my belly so I take his word for it and get to hear it over the loudspeaker at my appointments :)

The picture above is one of our outtakes from this morning. Seriously, this little corner is the only part of the room not covered with wrapping paper, Amazon boxes, or Christmas presents, as evidenced by the uncropped corner of the photo.

But anyways, back to the picture above. Kyler said to me, "Turn this way and look at me." I wasn't even thinking so I turned, and I was literally looking at his face when he took this picture. Don't my eyes look like they're affixed on the ceiling? That boy is so tall. Also, a blue-ish room on a drab day really does nothing for my under eye circles. [I've been researching makeup because my skin has totally changed lately. I don't remember having those dark circles before, and I can only imagine they'll get worse when Baby gets here.]

The rest of these pictures are just outtakes from our Christmas card photo shoot. I was trying to get the positioning and focus right before hitting the timer, and I had Kyler stand in. Oddly enough, I never got it right, and he ended up setting the camera for our 'final' photo.

As I was showering this morning, which is where I do all my best thinking, I was thinking about how Christmas is so close to being here. And this will be our last Christmas as a family of two. And I got to thinking about Christmas in terms of a milestone for our family, more specifically for me.

I don't think I've shared with many people about how long we tried to have this baby. I know lots of people wait a lot longer, but it felt like when we were trying, it was happening so quickly for everyone else. Christmas was always the milestone for some reason that I used to measure how many months were going by with no baby.

Maybe we can tell our families at Christmas.

Maybe my Christmas present will be a positive test.

Maybe it will happen at Christmas, but we won't find out until January.

Maybe we'll have a Christmas baby.

For some odd reason, I was just stuck on Christmas. And this morning, as I was showering and thinking about all the Christmas celebrations that we have coming up and the last-minute presents that need to be bought, I thought about our little bitty baby, and how this Christmas is so different from last. Instead of want, I'm filled with so much happiness and contentment because we have this precious gift that's on its way in March.

I know in the grand scheme of things, 10 months is not that long to wait, but it felt like forever while we were waiting. I remember when we got engaged and picked our wedding date for 11 months later, Kyler told me he didn't want to wait another year to get married. He said he asked me to marry him because he was ready to be married and wanted to marry me now. I thought he was crazy because HELLO I needed to plan a wedding, but that's totally how it felt when we decided we were ready to have a baby. I was ready for a baby, and I wanted it right now, not in 10 months and then have to wait another 9 months. I was ready right then. But God's timing is perfect timing.

Kyler and I grew closer as we shared our disappointment month after month. He was such an encourager on those days when I felt so discouraged. We were so open and honest with each other and with God. Kyler prays for us every morning, and each morning he would add in a special request for a baby. And I would find myself waking up in the middle of the nights, praying for a baby.

But if I had gotten pregnant right away, I'd probably never have worked at the church. I would've stayed at my old job until the baby was born, but leaving that job has been one of the biggest blessings ever! I love my current job and have loved getting to know so many people on levels I probably wouldn't have otherwise. I've had time to make our house into the home we enjoy...I've also had to cook more meals which I think is probably the only negative I can find in the whole quitting-my-old-job scenario. There's just no doubt that this was God's plan for our family.

Thinking about babies and Christmas reminds me of the Baby Jesus. And what a blessing that birth was so many years ago! I was listening to the Today Show as I got ready for work one morning, and someone was interviewing Mariah Carey, and she has twins that are toddler-ish. And she said that this year will be fun because they finally 'get' Christmas, not in a true meaning of Christmas way but they know who Santa is. I thought that was the saddest thing I'd heard all day ( was 8am). But seriously, you can explain a (fat) old man in a red (track) suit that (creepily) comes down the chimney while you're asleep but you can't explain celebrating a baby's birthday? Mariah Carey...I haven't listened to All I Want for Christmas is You since that day. Except when it was on at the mall.

I love Christmas. Even if it is just the two of us this Christmas, because this will be the last Christmas with just the two of us. So this Christmas I will celebrate Baby Jesus and his birth, and I'll wait until March to celebrate our baby's birth.

Dang that would've been a good picture if the 'tripod' hadn't gotten in the way! I don't know if I'll post next week since we'll be Christmas party hopping. So if I don't get a chance to come back and say it...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


  1. What a journey you two have been on together. Sometimes as family we don't know the full story and I'm blessed to hear it! God's timing is best even if we don't always understand why at the time, well stated in your post. On a lighter note - I too had to give up Qdoba/Chipotle :( You're not I often remind myself through pregnancy with many things, this too shall pass! I love the 25 week baby bump exciting to see baby Gray growing!!!

  2. God's timing is always PERFECT!!! Kim and I had to wait several months as well, and I totally understand your hope/disappointment/hope/disappointment cycle month after month. But God is GOOD and knows what is best for us!!! And now, a beautiful little Baby Gray is on the way!!! We can't hardly wait to meet him/her and you all will be fantastic parents! Love all 3 of you!!!